So what do you do when you and your buddy are waiting for a football match that doesn’t come on television until 4 in the morning?
You watch Mortal Kombat. One of the greatest ‘Shittiest’ films of all time.
Here are 10 reasons why I love this terrible, terrible film:
10. The Island
Only Mortal Kombat can be set on an island which has no bearings and can only be reached by some of the most ridiculous looking boats you’ve ever seen.
9. Reptile
It’s not just the character that is teriffic…
It’s the breathtaking visual effects that bring this character to life on the big screen that simply just blows you away!
8. ‘Those were a 500 dollar pair of sunglasses, asshole’
Johnny Cage is pissed off, and Johnny Cage isn’t a guy you want to piss off. Listening Goro?
7. Sonya Blade
Anyone who can coathanger a man running at full pace with the arm she’s got is a winner.
6. The Ending
Shao Kahn is going to threaten the people of Earthrealm. Actually, I don’t think so! (bring on the techno music).
5. The Raiden Laugh
We know Raiden likes to laugh, but following it up with ‘Sorry’ everytime he finishes is just a bit too much.
4. Kano
What is it like to fight a female whose thighs are the same size as your biceps, only for those thighs to snap your neck in half? Ask Kano.
3. Princess Kitana
I don’t know if it’s just me, but if you can find a better looking 10 000 year old woman out there, let me know.
2. Johnny Cage
When is Johnny Cage going to stop being such a badass? I guess it’s fair enough though. He gets no credit for being a kung fu master in his movies, so he races off to some unknown world to beat up a four-armed bandit who destroyed his 500 dollar sunglasses.
1. The Music
Just imagine watching this film without the music. I think I’ve said enough.
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MORTAAAAAL KOMBAT!
*techno breakdown.*
Kano was easily the best thing about this film. Also the character’s Australian, that beats the shit out of the entire film really.
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