After Paramount’s abysmal Tomb Raider adaptations sucked so hard that the studio neglected to make another film before the rights ran out, the license reverted back to EIDOS and was picked up by Warner Bros, who have announced plans to reboot the franchise. Hopefully without Angelina Jolie, and more tombs. Yay?

The man who looks like a thumb!

Check out this, HE LOOKS LIKE A THUMB. But it gets worse, he calls himself ‘Thumbman’, and if you click the image, it’ll take you to the page where you can see a load of comments regarding his thumb-like physique.

In fact he even has his own website now, http://thumbman.net/ featuring many photoshopped images of his Thumb-head.

The Might Putty Dub Man

You’ve gotta check out this vid, this guy REALLY knows how to sell a product. Legend!

The long-awaited Tintin film has finally gone into principal production and with a new cast announcement: Jamie Bell will be playing Tintin, and Daniel Craig will take on the role of Red Rackham in The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn. The thespians will join Andy Serkis, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost (Captain Haddock, Thomson and Thompson, respectively) in the Steven Spielberg-directed motion capture adventure ROMP. Let’s hope it doesn’t suck balls.

Chief Justice Roberts

Surely he knew he was doing Obama’s oath of office, so maybe he could remember how the words go next time? Instead of stuffing it up and making it look like Obama himself stuffed it up.

Obama voted against him anyway, so we all know he did it on purpose!

Evan Reynolds. Why? Because he lost his arm in an accident and spent approx 30,000 smacks to get a new arm - ‘Luke Skywalker Style’.

Check out the video here.

Spencer Tyler Thomas Svenskeysen a.k.a. SPENCER SKEY

How did a slumdog from Mitcham manage to snatch one of the most honorary awards of modern times?

Well, it’s because Master Giraffe is corrupt, Spencer probably voted for himself 6 times and that the award is more of an ‘encouragement’ award as opposed to an ‘achievement’ award (not that anyone was notified that during the voting process).

An encouragement award? Well lets take a look at who Spencer Skey beat to take out the title. Heath Ledger and Barack Obama. Now lets be honest, who could compete with them? Who would actually have the bravery, balls and willpower to take on these such talented men?

I know who. His name is Spencer Skey.

Earlier this year, Spencer Skey, knowing that he can’t act for shit, decided to approach Christopher Nolan and said he’d be a better joker than Heath Ledger and that he should replace him. Nolan gave Spencer a chance, and suddenly Spencer put his kit on and was doing some promotional shots. However, Spencer was soon kicked out of Warner Bros. studios after Nolan asked him for a ‘Very Serious’ pose:

Spencer was hurt. His career was over. But unlike most people who decide to turn their life into drugs, Spencer wanted another challenge.  He went through many ideas, such as becoming the first man to cartwheel across europe, fight 4 lions with a table tennis bat or just posting more on Master Giraffe.

No, “too easy” he said. Spencer wanted something more, something big. It was at this moment when Spencer Skey decided he would run for the 2008 US Presidential Election:

Choosing Sarah Palin as his running mate, Spencer’s view on killing all birds in America and replacing the eagle as their national emblem with a Liger, eventually handed the victory to now president Barack Obama, who is obviously happy with the free ride he got after knowing that Spencer Skey was his opposition:

On the behalf of Master Giraffe, congratulations Spencer Skey, Person of the Year 2008.

Those of you who actually watch Battlestar Galactica are urged to not watch as this contains spoilers to the show. But for everyone else who wants a laugh then check this out. I’ve never seen such a terrible ad placement, couldn’t stop laughing.

Click image to view full size.